Bryce Zabel's FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH

Watching TV So You Don't Have To

Lee Goldberg writes regularly on A Writer's Life

I finished writing my latest MONK novel the other day and I felt like lazing around. I've had a lot on my mind lately and after writing a book I didn't feel much like reading one. So I vegged out on television...some new, some old. 

The "new" were the latest episodes of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA and TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES.  

The BATTLESTAR episode was, astonishingly, one hour of pure exposition...mightily well-written, grandiose and flowery exposition, but exposition all the same....the dreaded "Irving the Explainer" taken to new, galactic heights by three Cylon-the-Explainers.  Only a serialized series on it's last episode or two that doesn't give a damn anymore about drawing new viewers would dare film an episode like that and call it entertainment (though Marc Bernardin at Entertainment Weekly thought it was so "revelatory" that it "melted my Goddamn face off.")

The TERMINATOR episode was merely dull and totally uninvolving, relying heavily on the over-used trick of having the hero (or in this case, heroine) talk to an imaginary character. Alan Ball should be shot for doing it so effectively on SIX FEET UNDER because now every TV series has to do it. Nobody seems to have noticed that it became a cliche three years ago and is now slipping into unintentional parody. At least the folks on GREY'S ANATOMY have raised the stakes by having the heroine fuck the character who isn't there...oh, wait, I take it back, GALACTICA did that two seasons ago when it still had a sense of humor to go along with all of its dread and misery. The folks at TERMINATOR have forgotten what made the TERMINATOR movies so much fun...and have gotten mired in dreary angst...probably because angst is cheaper to shoot than Terminators destroying things. The John Connor character has become a morose, whiny, Excedrin headache come-to-life...but the two lady Terminators? They're great.

Caught in the Act

My daughter just sent me this photo from Sunday's Emmy red carpet.  That's yours truly sending the text message... "Holy Crap, I'm standing behind Vanessa Williams!"  Or maybe I'm watching that Sarah Palin "You Tube" video, I'm not sure... 

Ricky Gervais Revenge Plot Revealed!!

Steve Carell's Been Warned!

This essay was originally published in the Los Angeles Times Gold Derby blog.

When Ricky Gervais wasn't present at last year's Emmys to accept his upset victory for best comedy actor ("Extras"), Steve Carell leapt to the stage and claimed the statuette on behalf of the man who trailblazed his role on the original "The Office." Gervais produced, wrote and starred in the British version from 2001 to 2004 before Carell debuted a Yankee rendition in 2005, which won best comedy series at the Emmys.

Next, if Carell wins best comedy actor for the U.S. version of "The Office" on Sept. 21, "I'm going to beat him to the stage just to even things up," Ricky Gervais says. "I'm going to wrestle him to the ground and get his Emmy before he can."

Gervais may also have his own Emmy to claim that night too, as a nominee for best actor in a TV film for "Extras: The Extra Special Series Finale." Most award prognosticators pooh-pooh his chance to win because he competes against four past Oscar nominees and/or winners: Ralph Fiennes ("Bernard and Doris"), Paul Giamatti ("John Adams"), Kevin Spacey ("Recount") and Tom Wilkinson ("Recount").

Studio 60: My Own Personal Flashback in a Flashback

What is the right way to deal with a tragedy like 9/11 when you're doing a comedy show? When can you get back to business? How do you strike the right tone?

These are the questions that Aaron Sorkin wrote about in last night's "Studio 60" and they're also ones I faced back in 2001 with the Emmys.

As "Studio 60" continues its fade-out, my TiVO grabbed last night's episode which had, as a story-line, the flashback to the days right after 9/11. It dealt with the characters wondering just how to be funny in light of the tragedy and the reality that we would now be living in the shadow of terrorism.

As the chairman/CEO of the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences, I spent some time with Aaron Sorkin, following 9/11 -- on panels, at other public events, at the Emmys. He was one of the people we talked to on October 7 (when we canceled the Emmys a second time) and, as I recall, he said it was unclear what his people felt but he thought a lot of his stars and producers were going to take a pass on attending. Since I thought "West Wing" was going to win several Emmys, that made a an impact. Later, Aaron and I were on several panels together, notably an Academy panel, "Hollywood Goes to War" and a Writers Guild of America panel about terrorism and entertainment. He's one of the brightest guys I know, a terrific writer and always a very nice guy. Honestly, I've been waiting for him to write about this experience in some way. I certainly haven't been able to avoid it.

Anyway, the day that Sorkin wrote about in last night's episode, it pretty much came down to a decision by the Academy and CBS President Les Moonves to cancel the Emmys (twice!) in 2001. Sorkin, given his role as the executive producer of "West Wing" was a key player.

As I said, the flashback occurs on October 7, 2001 as the cast prepares to go to the Emmy awards only to realize that we are bombing Afghanistan and the show is likely to be canceled. That morning I was getting ready to go for a morning run to lose a little stress before appearing on the show when the phone rang. "Turn on your TV," my friend said. Once I saw the news, I knew it was going to be a long day.

I may have missed this, but I think "Studio 60" made it seem like this was the first cancellation when it was the second. The original Emmys were scheduled to air on September 16, 2001 -- a date that became impossible the moment the towers were hit.

Anyway, on the day in question, Moonves and I (and others, of course) were busy canvassing the community to see if we should go ahead with the Emmys. We got a lot of ambivalence, but we made the decision to put the brakes on again because we really thought that as the day wore on more and more people like Sorkin would decide not to come. The next day I appeared on "Politically Incorrect" and got in an argument with Bill Mahrer about this. It was my contention that you shouldn't "throw a party nobody wants to come to" and that if we went ahead and nobody showed up it could have terribly tarnished the Academy's reputation. Mahrer argued that we should have just done it anyway, that we wussed out. Of course, this was the time that he was also in trouble with ABC for suggesting that the terrorists on the planes were acting in a less cowardly way than people who fire off cruise missiles.

We finally did put the Emmys on, a month later, on November 4, 2001.

Anyway, revisiting those memories in this dramatic format made last night both fun and nostalgic for me.

I'll never forget how they handled the issue "Studio 60" posited in real life. On "Saturday Night Live" they brought on Rudy Giuliani and asked him if it was okay to be funny again. He shrugged and said, "Why start now?" That is one of the world's greatest and most memorable lines in comedy, rising from the ashes of tragedy.

By the way, that's what has always made Aaron Sorkin's work so wonderful. He manages to pull that balance between the two into everything he writes.

Christopher Moltisanti, Rest In Peace

Maybe suggesting that Christopher should rest in peace is too much. After all, just last week, without provocation, he shot the screenwriter in the head.

Last night, he got what was coming to him, I suppose, but now we know that the whole thing is falling apart over at The Sopranos. I think creator David Chase wants to end with the reminder that these never were nice people despite how much we came to enjoy being with them. Salon's Heather Havrilesky put it nicely:

"Suddenly, that electric mix of melancholy and self-destruction that we've experienced over the past few episodes has been tied into a tight, devastating knot. Whether he's ripping apart his office or just lying in his own bed, alone, the tension and the sadness and the gripping feeling of doom penetrate every second that Tony is on-screen." 

I've heard the comparisons but, for me, it's not all that much like "The Godfather" which upheld its own version of family values. In "The Sopranos," Tony cheats on his wife, betrays his friends and operates without any code of honor whatsoever. Really, what are Tony's redeeming qualities? Remember at the beginning of the series how Tony worried that it was all coming to an end? He was right.

It's all going to straight to hell where, hopefully, they're making extra room for all these amoral, unconscionable sons-of-bitches. I can't wait for next week's episode.

Oscar, Emmy, Ellen, Me, You & Little Miss Sunshine

So, in a few hours now, Ellen DeGeneres will host the Academy Awards. Because the "Best Picture" race is wide-open and because half of America is frozen in ice and snow, there will probably be a decent audience.

I will follow my new tradition of Tivo'ing awards shows so that when someone starts to name agents, managers, and hairdressers instead of saying something charming or witty about the film or their role in it, then I will zip past them. On to the next, yes?

I doubt very much I will need the Tivo for Ellen's bits, though...

For me, watching Ellen DeGeneres brings back a lot of memories, going back to 2001 when she hosted the Emmy awards that, unfortunately, I had a big part in canceling -- twice -- because of 9/11 and then the war in Afghanistan. 

Ellen was absolutely terrific that year -- welcoming us to the 53rd, 54th and 55th Emmy awards, then casting herself as the Taliban's worst nightmare, wondering if there was anything that could bug them more than a lesbian woman in a pantsuit surrounded by Jews.  Her tone was perfect and her timing spot on. 

Quick refresher.  The Emmys in 2001 were originally slated to take place on September 16, which became impossible in the immediate shock and grief of 9/11.  So we re-scheduled for October 7, only to have the bombing campaign on Afghanistan start that morning, forcing us to cancel a second time.  Finally, on November 4 we put them on -- after all, by then all we had to compete against was an incredibly exciting 7th game of the World Series!  At least they happened...

In the third Emmy awards that happened on my watch -- 2003 -- Ellen was also one of 11 comedians who we had share the hosting duties.  She also co-hosted with Patricia Richardson in 1994.  When you get four times on the stage as a host, you're moving past trend to habit. Then they asked her back last year. I guess the people who run the Oscars were watching TV even when they pretend not to.

The virtual photo album I've put together from my Emmy experience can be seen by clicking here.  A lot of it deals with the 2001 Emmys.  Here's the specific page with Ellen.  I've put a lot of crazy captions with celebrities inside - from Eric McCormack to Jon Stewart to Michael Chiklis.

But today belongs to Oscar...

The Hollywood Cookbook: A Holiday Win-Win for Charity

The first copies are back from the publishers and it will be in the major bookstores and Amazon.com will start shipping within the next week. I'm  talking about "The Hollywood Cookbook." It's the best win-win I've seen in a long-time. Really... think of it as Good Cooking, Great Causes...

Pre-Order Now for 2006 Holidays
Available Mid-November
$5 Per Book to Charity

To paraphrase Martin Landau's Bob Evans character from HBO's "Entourage" -- "If I told you there was a way to give somebody a modest gift for the holidays that they might actually like and, at the same time, give money to charities that help make the world a better place, would that be of interest to you?"

Regular readers of "For What It's Worth" know that I've never asked you to buy anything in all the time this blog has existed. This one just seems like such a great idea that I want to help.

The whole concept started a couple of years ago when my wife, Jackie, got this idea. She would find twenty celebrities, each one with a favorite charity, then ask them to supply their favorite recipes for a cookbook. Five bucks from each book would go into a pot to be distributed to the charities. She'd get the Entertainment Industry Foundation -- a group that has an outstanding reputation -- to divvy up the money. She'd sell the book, starting at the holidays, so that people could give it instead of a card saying "A donation has been made in your name." I mean, let's be honest, I'm always glad that a charity has gotten money in my name but it's a little disappointing. We'd like something tangible to go with it. Well, now you have the perfect compromise!

It's been a snowball effect of support. She's partnered with her good friend, Morgan Most, and together the two of them have practically willed this into existence. Celebrities like Ron Howard, Michael J. Fox, Jane Kaczmarek and Bradley Whitford immediately wanted to help. Charities were supportive and appreciative and put some of their key supporters in touch with the women of "Good Looking Cooking" (that's the name they came up with in order to publish the book). Later, as an added bonus, some very, very famous celebrity chefs also came aboard to offer some of their own special recipes. People like Wolfgang Puck and Mario Batali (plus Mark Dacascos from "Iron Chef.")

The book is literally at the printer now, pre-orders are being taken, and it can end up in your hands before Thanksgiving, in plenty of time to wrap it, mail it and give it to friends and co-workers for the holidays.

Listen, I could go on and on about this idea. I work in Hollywood where so often everything is a problem and it's great to salute an idea where everything is a solution. You want to know what was the most significant problem to overcome? Figuring out how to get $5 guaranteed to charity, given all the costs that go into books these days. But Jackie and Morgan have been unyielding. $5 to charity. Not a penny less.

They have a superior web-site that explains the whole thing better than I can do in this blog. Check it out. Feel good this year about at least one of the gifts you give. Make a difference. You can see all the charities there and check out the links to their sites for yourself.

Let me put one other thought out there. After you've checked out http://www.thehollywoodcookbook.com, you'll probably agree it's a great idea, too. Now, let's do some math...

Say they sell 10-thousand books before Christmas. That means charities will get $50,000 to split. But if we can push that number up to 100-thousand books that would mean a $500,000 check going to charity in early 2007.

So, check out the site and if you catch "The Hollywood Cookbook" fever like I have, stick a link to it on your blog or website, write about it in your own words, send the URL to your local newspapers with a personal note of endorsement and send one of those e-mails to all your friends asking them to send it to all their friends. Even better, buy a book for everybody on your shopping list and be a force multiplier. Think of it this way: buy 10 books; give $50 to charity.

Let's go viral in support of a great cause! We're the Internet, dammit, this is easy!

Conan 2.0 | O'Brien Emmy Memories

Conan O'Brien is having a very good year. Not only has he been named by NBC as the next host of "The Tonight Show" franchise (taking over in 2009) but he's hosting the Emmy Awards again on Sunday. Then there's his day (or night) job doing the network's "The Late Show." This doesn't even take into account the fact that his similar looks to the female President of Finland, Tarja Halonen, actually influenced the election there in her favor. Let's just say the man's reach is global!

Conan was the guest last night on "The Charlie Rose Show" and even though he was funny and self-deprecating as usual, he was also a very good interview. Back during the 2002 Emmy Awards, when I was the Academy chairman, I sat in on a couple of meetings with Conan, and this was the version of the comedian I came to know. He's a big TV fan, he takes TV (and comedy) seriously, and he's thrilled to be given the opportunity to host the Emmys. We also got to play off each other on stage before the TV Critics Association gathering in Pasadena in the summer before the show. He is the most sincere guy I know who has made a living and a career out of appearing insincere. It's quite an act.

Back in 2002, he was the first host to come off the twice-cancelled 2001 Emmy show that was hosted by Ellen DeGeneres. He was, I thought, a very funny host, and hit the tone just about perfectly. Do you remember that hysterical bit he did at the open, claiming that NBC wanted him to have a love interest, then the come-hither romantic looks exchanged with first Jennifer Aniston, then the hate stare from Brad Pitt, followed by the riding horses on the beach sequence with Garry Shandling? Well, if you've forgotten, you can watch the entire Conan interview on "The Charlie Rose Show" by CLICKING HERE and that sequence is near the top.

I had the absolute greatest seats in the Shrine Auditorium to appreciate that comic interlude. My wife and I were, in fact, seated next to Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw and one seat behind Tom Hanks and his wife. But, the truth is, about 50% of my brain was still occupied by thoughts of knowing that an usher would soon pull me from my seat so I could go backstage and then out to deliver the Academy Chairman's bit. I remember seeing Conan right before I went on and he smiled and said, "This is so much fun." It helped. So did the fact that my then 10-year-old son Jared insisted on going backstage with me, and right before I got announced, he squeezed my hand and said, "Dad, you are going to be so good at this."

One thing Conan said in the Charlie Rose interview is that he enjoys playing different "houses" and that the Emmys is one of the largest crowds, weighing in at around 6,000 live guests. He, of course, goes out in front of an audience all the time. I have to admit that walking out on that stage was just a bit intimidating, although by the time I did my thing, I was strangely ready to go (partly because of Conan's and Jared's send-off). Then you walk out and see this huge crowd of people. My first thought was to ignore the size and look out and speak directly to a few people in the front row. So I looked there and made eye contact with Brad and Jennifer and that was REALLY intimidating so I went back to the grand scale.

My own memory of those Emmys is terrific really. First, there was no 9/11 hanging over them like the year before. Second, I used my minute and a half speech (before 90-million viewers, BTW) to introduce Tom Hanks who then presented a tribute to Bob Hope and introduced Oprah Winfrey as the first winner of the Hope Award. At least, that's what I think happened. It is kind of a different reality you experience out there on that stage. The one line I'll never forget delivering, though, is my last line: "Ladies and Gentlemen, Mister Tom Hanks..." That was a thrill.

Among all the memories tucked away from the 2002 Emmys, I'd have to add these. My home state Oregon sent TV critic Peter Carlin ("The Oregonian") down to hang with our family from the time we were getting ready in our house through the show, and then write about it. He rode in the limo with us. When we arrived at the Shrine, it was hotter than Hades that day. We practically all melted into that red carpet and, get this, they turned on the air conditioning too late in the Governor's Ball area so that during the entire after-party, it was still stifling hot, probably between 80 and 90 degrees. I also remember that my kids sat at the table next to ours with Jack and Kelly Osbourne and that they reported to me that Ozzie had passed out in his limo and that Jack was drinking wine. Here are a few photos from Conan I, 2002:

It's over 100 degrees on the Red Carpet!
Re-evaluating wearing that vest...

It's almost 90 degrees at the Governor's Ball
Michael Chiklis & Wife -- His first Emmy

Peter Carlin of "The Oregonian"


Jared gets an autograph from Kelly Osbourne

My former "Dark Skies" star Jeri Ryan and Jackie Zabel

Anyway, no pressure this year just sitting in the audience, but I'm betting that Conan O'Brien is going to do another great job, and I'm looking forward to the fun. Hopefully, this time the air conditioning will be on full-blast!

{Emmy photos courtesy of Mathew Imaging}